“Speaking of Baby Hitler, President Trump is in the news again,” cracked Trevor Noah.
The Daily Show has been taping from Florida this week in advance of the midterms, and its host dedicated the meatiest portion of his monologue to Trump’s latest pre-midterms stunt: threatening to issue an executive order to cancel birthright citizenship.
“We’re the only country in the world where a person comes in and has a baby, and the baby is essentially a citizen of the United States... with all of those benefits... It’s ridiculous. It’s ridiculous. And it has to end,” Trump said in an interview on the new show Axios on HBO. (Actually, more than 30 countries have birthright citizenship—including Canada and Mexico.)
Trump, however, doesn’t have the authority to override the 14th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, which states: “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.”
“Wow. So Trump plans to single-handedly change the Constitution. That’s like hearing that War and Peace is going to be edited by Guy Fieri. That’s what that sounds like to me,” cracked Noah. “Because basically, Trump wants to make it so that if your parents aren’t American, and then you’re born here, you won’t automatically be American anymore.”
Interestingly, Donald Trump’s first wife—and the mother of his children Don Jr., Ivanka, and Eric—didn’t become a naturalized U.S. citizen until 1988, years after they were born. So it’s unclear whether they would be considered U.S. citizens under their father’s plan.
“Honestly, part of me thinks that Trump is only doing this because he’s hoping it’ll kick his kids out,” said Noah. “He’s just going to be out there like, ‘Sorry, Eric! So sorry, Eric! Your mom was an immigrant! You gotta go, Eric!’”
“Now obviously, let’s be real, folks: You don’t need to be a genius to realize that Trump isn’t talking about babies that come from Norwegian vajayjays,” Noah continued. “No, he wants to white-out the Constitution so that he can whiten America. That’s what he’s planning to do here.”
The president’s threat has come under fire from leaders on both sides of the aisle, with Nancy Pelosi telling Stephen Colbert that Trump doesn’t have the “authority” to override the 14th Amendment, and even Paul Ryan saying, “You cannot end birthright citizenship with an executive order.”
“Wow, Paul Ryan finally standing up to Donald Trump? Wow,” said Noah. “I guess for Halloween he’s going as someone with balls.”