Texas: Sex Ed Makes Teenagers Horny
According to Texas state Rep. Steve Toth, teenagers probably wouldn't even think about getting busy if it weren't for those sex-ed classes getting them all "hot and bothered." A Houston Chronicle reporter caught Toth making this argument following the House State Affairs Committee's move to pass expansive abortion legislation. Toth was responding to fellow Rep. Donna Howard's suggestion that proper sex education would result in fewer unwanted pregnancies and abortions. "My wife worked at a home for unwed moms, and one of the little kids that was born, his name is David. David came about as a result of his mom and dad, who were just 16 at the time, going to a Planned Parenthood deal where they taught them how to use contraceptives," he said. "They were not sexually active at that point. They got into the car, and they were so hot and bothered from this deal, he couldn't even get the condom on."
North Carolina: Anti-Sharia and Anti-Abortion for the Price of One
What's better than a ban on Islamic Sharia law? A bill that cracks down on Sharia and abortion at the same time, of course. Already on a conservative roll this summer, the latest bill to make its way through the North Carolina Senate is one that does just that. The Family, Faith, and Freedom Protection Act of 2013 not only keeps Muslim families from invoking Sharia in custody cases or other family law, but also restricts health-care coverage for abortions, requires that physicians make an appearance during any pill-induced abortions, and that abortion clinics fulfill all the requirements of a full-blown hospital, among other rules. The abortion restrictions are hardly a shocker, given what other states have put in place, but one might ask why North Carolina would need to ban the traditional Islamic law. Apparently some people feel that American citizens are threatened by the possibility of other people trying to use religious regulations.
Ohio: Don't Even Think About Getting an Abortion Here
Ohio Gov. John Kasich might have just signed into law the most expansive set of restrictions to abortion access in the country. The Midwest state's new law has many outrageous provisions: it defunds all of the state's Planned Parenthood clinics and imposes a gag order on rape-crisis centers to keep counselors from informing rape victims that they are legally entitled to abortions if they want them. The law not only mandates that a woman undergo a preabortion ultrasound—and pay for it herself—it also redefines pregnancy as occurring before a fertilized egg makes its way into a woman's uterine lining, potentially making even IUDs illegal.
Iowa: Watch Whom You Pull Over
Larry Hedlund, an agent with the Iowa Division of Criminal Investigation, probably didn't realize when he ordered state troopers to pull over a black SUV going 84 miles per hour that it would result in his removal from duty. Then again, he also probably didn't anticipate that the reckless vehicle he'd ordered to be pulled over belonged to Gov. Terry Branstad. It wasn't the governor behind the wheel, in fact, but a state trooper, while Branstad and his lieutenant governor, Kim Reynolds, were in the back seat, reportedly unaware of what was going on. Five days after the trooper was pulled over, Heldund was relieved of his duties.
Glenn Beck: Purchase Food Insurance and Be Like a Founding Father
Are you aware that the best way to emulate the Founding Fathers is to purchase Food Insurance—you know, freeze-dried or dehydrated meals—for your family in case of an emergency? If not, you probably haven't been keeping up with Glenn Beck's Internet show. Beck, who previously endorsed Goldline while warning his audience of impending economic collapse before the gold firm's executives were charged with fraud, is now shilling for Food Insurance. He has claimed on his show that people who purchase Food Insurance are modern-day versions of the Founding Fathers, who'd "sit in a room for years and study and try to figure out: what does freedom mean and how do we make people free?" Apparently you make people free by planning for disaster with "freeze-dried entrees or dehydrated options." Beck is such a good salesman that Food Insurance even sells the Glenn Beck basic kit and the Glenn Beck deluxe kit on its website.