WORLD WAR RAW
Stephen Colbert: Trump Is Acting Like a Crazy WWE Villain on Syria
“If you candy-ass jabronis think I won’t plunge the world into a global conflict that destroys civilization as we know it, then you don’t know El Trumpo Loco, brother!”
“Unhinged Twitter rants are not how you respond to a federal investigation,” Stephen Colbert told President Donald Trump Wednesday night. “It’s how you escalate a global military conflict.”
After several minutes spent discussing Trump’s ongoing meltdown over the Mueller probe, the Late Show host moved on to his latest tweets about the conflict in Syria, including threats against Russia, which has vowed to shoot down U.S. planes that attempt airstrikes in the region.
“Guys, don’t fight, you’re friends!” Colbert said. “Remember when you colluded down by the old creek? You said you’d never forget that summer, or admit to remembering it under oath.”
“In all seriousness, the whole region is a powder keg. Russia is a nuclear power,” the host added. So Trump took a breath, met with his foreign policy officials, and responded with a measured diplomatic response…I’m just kidding.”
Following Trump’s belligerent tweets, Colbert revealed that a Moscow newspaper ran a headline that asked, “Is Macho Trump Starting World War III?”
“Threats, muscle flexing, nicknames—Trump is finally bringing his background in pro wrestling to our foreign policy,” he added, before donning a Trump-esque Lucha Libre mask and channeling a combination of “Macho Man” Randy Savage and InfoWars’ Alex Jones to deliver a message from the president.
“Now, you listen up, brother!” Colbert barked. “You’d better get ready, because on Monday night at World War Raw, I am bringing the thunder to ‘Animal Assad,’ the gas-killing animal, and rude dude Kim Jong Crude. But first, I’m taking down my nemesis, the special counsel. And if you candy-ass jabronis think I won’t plunge the world into a global conflict that destroys civilization as we know it, then you don’t know El Trumpo Loco, brother! I am crazy, hombre. I will deport myself because I am ‘smart!’”