Stephen Colbert may have gone all-in on “The Mooch” in his opening monologue Monday night, but he saved his best burns for “The Cooch.”
The Late Show host was, of course, talking about Jared Kushner, who made a rare public address earlier in the day after testifying in a closed session to the Senate Intelligence Committee. “We don’t know what was said in this hearing where he was interviewed, because it’s none of our business,” Colbert joked.
In his “pre-rebuttal,” Kushner claimed to know nothing about the purported subject of Donald Trump Jr.’s meeting with a Kremlin-linked lawyer, because, as he put it, “that email was on top of a long back and forth that I did not read at the time.”
“So he didn’t know it was a confidential meeting about Russia helping against Clinton,” Colbert said. “What was the subject line again? ‘Russia— Clinton—private and confidential.’”
“Who knows if the Trump administration should be worried?” Colbert asked. “Donald Trump does, because on Thursday, Trump and his legal team ‘discussed his power to pardon those close to him including himself.’”
“Trump called the Russia story ‘fake news’ and floated pardoning himself for it,” the host added. “Reminds me of the New Testament when the apostle Judas said, ‘Surely, I will not betray you, my Lord, but if I did, you’d have to forgive me, right? That’s like your whole deal. Also, are you a cop? You have to tell me if you’re a cop.’”