“Our long national nightmare is… different.”
That’s how Stephen Colbert opened The Late Show on Wednesday after President Donald Trump signed an executive order that supposedly ends his own policy of separating immigrant children from their parents at the border.
“Because after weeks of tearing families apart at the border and then falsely insisting that only Congress could solve the problem,” the host continued, “this afternoon the president looked deep into his heart and realized it was not there.”
After playing a clip of Trump saying he “didn’t like the sight or feeling” of seeing families separated, Colbert added, as the president, “And at the end of the day, we all know everything is really about me and how it makes me feel.”
“However you slice it, Donald Trump has changed his mind and decided to keep families together,” Colbert said. “And just in time, too: Melania was about to turn herself in at the border.”
Despite Trump’s insistence that an executive order to reverse the policy “can’t be done,” the host noted, “Here he is, doing it.” And then Trump said, “You’re going to have a lot of happy people” before signing the piece of paper that does nothing to reunite the more than 2,000 families already separated. Colbert replied, “Happy people? Wait, are you signing your resignation?”