For over a year now, President Donald Trump has had one big “catchphrase,” Stephen Colbert told viewers Tuesday night: “No collusion.”
“He uses it for every occasion,” the Late Show host said. “It’s like his, ‘aloha.’ It means both ‘hello’ and ‘I’m guilty.’” But as of this week, Trump and his legal team are singing a new tune.
Rudy Giuliani was all over cable news on Monday arguing that there is no such “crime” as “collusion.” And the president was right there with him, tweeting early Tuesday morning, “Collusion is not a crime, but that doesn’t matter because there was No Collusion (except by Crooked Hillary and the Democrats)!”
“OK, so collusion isn’t a crime, but it doesn’t matter, because he didn’t do it anyway, Hillary did?” Colbert asked. “It’s really going to complicate the chants at his rallies,” he demonstrated. “Lock her up! But collusion’s not a crime! So what are we locking her up for? I am confused! We’re living in a web of lies!”
Colbert admitted that Trump is “right about one thing: there is no law against collusion. Technically, it’s called ‘conspiracy to commit an offense against the United States.’” The host added, “Oh, he’s offended the United States already. They ought to arrest him for groping the American flag.”
“Trump’s completely flipped the script on this collusion thing, what’s next?” Colbert asked. “Is he going to go from ‘This is a witch hunt’ to ‘OK, but I’m a good witch like Glinda, the hot one from The Wizard of Oz, OK? I would do her, and her little dog too.’”