Stacey Dash Pens Election Rant

Dionne Davenport is depressed. Stacey Dash—star of Clueless and last month’s headlines after publicly announcing her support for Mitt Romney—has written an essay on her dismay that President Barack Obama was reelected. The piece (in which Dash occasionally refers to herself in the third person) is 1,344 words long, and covers everything from hanging chads, to Osama Bin Laden, to sleep. Dash concludes on an uplifting, confusingly punctuated note: “Although I am disappointed that Governor Romney and Congressman Ryan did not win, I am hopeful that President Obama will lead us to becoming the great UNITED STATES OF AMERICA that thrives.”