Colin Jost and Michael Che didn’t get the best reviews for their first outing as co-hosts of the Emmy Awards earlier this month. But they still have what it takes to kill on Saturday Night Live’s “Weekend Update.”
The duo dedicated the bulk of their jokes on this week’s 44th season premiere to the Brett Kavanaugh hearings, which Jost described as a “classic debate of she said, he yelled.”
“Pretty much the only ones who kept their composure in the entire hearing were the woman being questioned and the woman Republicans had to hire to talk to the woman being questioned,” Jost said. “Now, I know on an optics level, I understand why the Republicans did that. But if you’re not the right person to ask questions at a Senate hearing, maybe you’re not the right person to be a senator.”
“I just want to remind everybody that all that yelling and crying happened at a job interview,” Che added. “I mean, typically when you’re asked about a sexual assault and your drinking problem at a job interview, you don’t get the damn job.”
“I don’t know if Mr. Kavanaugh has a history of assault or if he actually has a drinking problem, but I do know that he might,” he continued. “And you shouldn’t be on the Supreme Court if you might. You shouldn’t be on the People’s Court if you might. Sometimes might is enough. I mean, I don’t want to pet your dog if he might bite me. I don’t want to leave you in my house if you might be a crackhead. I’m not going to have sex with you if you might have dated Charlie Sheen.”
“Of course this is a big deal,” Che, who not long ago was defending Louis C.K.’s “right to speak and make a living,” said later. “Because a Supreme Court judge is a lifetime job and sadly that’s more important to Congress than the concerns of half the country. Kavanaugh could be the deciding vote on issues concerning the very people he makes feel unsafe. It would be like letting the coyote decide on roadrunner rights. Or letting all white cops police an all black neighborhood.”
Che then asked, “Also, why does it have to be him? You can’t just pick another dude from the Illuminati lizard meetings? Are Republicans so pro-life that you don’t even have a plan b for this?”
When Jost and Che were done, they turned the floor over to Kate McKinnon’s Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who delivered some of her patented “Gins-burns” at Kavanaugh’s expense.