Saturday Night Live was not the first late-night show to weigh in the mass shooting in Las Vegas. In this week’s cold open, they invited country singer Jason Aldean to cover Tom Petty as a tribute to victims. But a much more forceful statement came during “Weekend Update.”
“The investigation into the tragedy in Las Vegas this week has sparked a larger debate in America between people who want common sense gun control and people who are wrong,” Colin Jost began. “This shouldn’t be a partisan issue. The guy had 47 guns. No one should own 47 of anything. If you own 47 cats, you are not a responsible pet owner, you’re a crazy cat lady.”
Like the previous week, when Michael Che went in on President Donald Trump for his Puerto Rico response, he upped the ante once again on Saturday by asking, “Why is it so hard to get gun control in this country? I mean, who are these delicate snowflakes that we can’t just tell them, ‘No, you are not allowed to have 40 guns anymore, Earl. From now on you can have one gun, max, and six bullets. If you can’t hit what you’re shooting with six bullets then you don’t need to be shooting at it. Learn karate or use your words!’”
Noting that 78 percent of Americans “don’t even own a gun” and 3 percent own half of all guns in the country, Che said, “That’s the problem, that whiny three percent that needs to feel secure all the time.”
Che proposed his own unique “buy back” program. “For every gun you trade in, we give you one half inch of penis enlargement,” he said. “That’s fair. If you trade in ten guns, you get five more inches. And if women want to trade in their guns, don’t. Keep your guns. You’re probably going to need them to fight off all those men in spandex fighting to show off their brand-new eight-inch penises.”
Then, Che turned his ire to House Speaker Paul Ryan, who has said he wants Congress to explore some gun control options. “But first, he wants to look into this briefcase from the NRA,” he joked. Then Che called out the “hypocritical” Second Amendment advocates who always say “respect law enforcement” and “support the troops."
“Meanwhile they have a closet full of weapons because they think those same troops are going to come drive their house away.”