It took a Ted Cruz rant against New Yorkers to make Donald Trump seem human.
During Thursday night’s GOP debate on Fox Business, moderator Neil Cavuto asked Cruz (R-TX) to explain what he meant when he said that Trump embodies “New York values.” “I think most people know exactly what New York values are,” Cruz, who loves New York money but despises New York values, responded. “Everyone understands that the values in New York City are socially liberal or pro-abortion or pro–gay marriage…Focus around money and the media.”
This lit a fire under The Donald, who defended his city with the fervor of, well, a New Yorker. “New York is a great place. It’s got great people. It’s got loving people, wonderful people,” Trump said. “When the World Trade Center came down, I saw something that no place on Earth could have handled more beautifully, more humanely than New York.”
Now, one of Saturday Night Live’s cast members, Pete Davidson, lost his father, Scott Davidson—a New York City firefighter—on 9/11. So you knew SNL would come after Cruz for ripping The Big Apple.
And oh, how they went after him.
SNL’s cold open re-created the GOP debate, and during it, Cecily Strong’s Maria Bartiromo asked Cruz, “You suggested Mr. Trump embodies ‘New York values.’ Can you explain what you mean by that?”
Cue a deliciously smug Taran Killam as Cruz: “I think most people know exactly what ‘New York values’ are, and frankly, they are not the rest of the country’s values. Instead of celebrating Christmas, New Yorkers celebrate a pagan holiday called ‘Festivus.’ Instead of watching American football, they challenge each other to masturbation contests. In New York, people don’t say ‘hi’ to their neighbors, they say, ‘Hello, Newman…’”
“It sounds like you’re describing the TV show Seinfeld,” interjected Kyle Mooney’s Neil Cavuto. “Is that what you mean by ‘New York values?’”And then the kicker: “Believe me, if I could say ‘liberal Jews,’ I would.”