Jeanine Pirro returned to the air after a two-week suspension Saturday night for making Islamophobic comments about Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN). And on Saturday Night Live, Cecily Strong revived her version of the Fox News host in what was hands-down one of the funniest “Weekend Update” desk pieces in recent memory.
“I’m Judge Jeanine Pirro, and it’s up to you to decide just what my whole deal is,” Strong’s Pirro told Colin Jost. “This Mueller report completely exonerated the president and therefore everybody on the Trump train. Woo woo! So somebody at Fox News said my name into a bathroom mirror three times and here I am.”
She went on to thank her biggest fans for watching, including “horny men laying on in-home hospital beds” and “white prison gangs who control the remote on Saturdays.”
Asked if she really thinks Attorney General William Barr’s four-page letter “totally exonerates” Trump, Pirro replied, “It’s crystal clear! No collusion, no obstruction. The report concludes that the president is 35 years old and 175 pounds. He’s got the rugged good looks of Bradley Cooper and he smells like steak and complementary bathroom cologne. And he’s a USDA-certified sex machine who can wax that ass from dusk until dawn.”
Then, when Jost told his guest that Trump might “completely close the border with Mexico,” Pirro literally fell off her chair. Composing herself, she said, “Oh, I just get so damn excited about Trump unleashed. Whoa mama!”