Wanda Sykes may have hosted last night’s White House Press Correspondent Dinner, but—no surprise here—President Obama was the star. Some highlights: He said Dick Cheney couldn’t make the dinner because he was working on his memoir How to Shoot Friends and Interrogate People; "I believe my next hundred days will be so successful that I will be able to complete them in 72 days," he said. "And on my 73rd day, I will rest." Saying he “could not be closer” with Hillary Clinton, Obama said, "In fact the second she got back from Mexico, she pulled me into a hug and said I should go down there myself.” Celebrities there included Eva Longoria Parker, Ashton Kutcher, Natalie Portman, Sting, Steven Spielberg, Jon Bon Jovi, and Richard Phillips, the ship captain who was hostage to Somali pirates. The Daily Beast's Katty Kay says that while Obama killed, the dinner is still D.C.'s dreariest ritual.