NY Town Braces for Clinton Wedding

There’s nothing like a dynastic wedding celebration to energize a sleepy town of 8,000. Recently leaked as the site of Chelsea Clinton’s July 31 nuptials, Rhinebeck, New York, is now a hotbed of speculation, activity, and anticipation. “It’s crazy. There’s this insane buzz,” said one local resident. “You can’t walk down the street without someone asking about Chelsea’s wedding.” Though none of the details are officially confirmed, rumor has it that the affair will take place at the private former estate of John Jacob Astor, a tucked-away mansion with a well-maintained 50-acre lawn. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton confessed on Polish television that preparations are keeping her busy. “It’s truly the most important thing in my life right now,” said the mother of the bride.