Hours after Nikolas Cruz fatally shot 17 people at a south Florida high school, he told police during an interrogation that a voice in his head had been telling him to “burn,” “kill,” and “destroy,” The Miami Herald reports. According to a released transcript of the interrogation, Cruz appeared “dejected” in the aftermath of the shooting, telling police he didn’t “deserve” a cold bottle of water that detectives had offered him. When alone in the interrogation room, Cruz muttered to himself, “Kill me. Just fucking kill me.” He told police that he had attempted to kill himself two months before the shooting by swallowing a “bunch” of Advil, but just got sick. He also said he did “a lot” of drugs like marijuana and Xanax, and “no one knew about it,” according to the 217-page document. Cruz faces the death penalty for the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School on February 14. The tragedy sparked a nationwide movement against gun violence.