Well, this ought to lock the curmudgeon vote down. In a video titled “We’re Really Puzzled,” former Republican presidential candidate Newt Gingrich calls for cellphones to be renamed. “But think about it,” Gingrich says. “If it’s taking pictures, it’s not a cellphone. If it has a McDonalds app that tells you the closest McDonalds based on your GPS location, that’s not a cellphone.” He suggests renaming it a hand-held computer, although he does seek “your help” in coming up with a new name. Except, Newt, we already have a name for our phones. What we don’t have a name for is what exactly the purpose of this video is.