New CIA No. 2 Held Erotica Readings

On Wednesday, President Obama nominated Avril Danica Haines to deputy director of the CIA to replace the man who came under fire for editing the controversial Benghazi talking points. Haines rose to the top of the spy agency after dropping out of a graduate program in physics at Johns Hopkins University and starting a bookstore on the Baltimore waterfront. The store held a regular “Erotica Night” where authors read their own naughty prose to a room of people having dinner by candlelight. “Erotica has become more prevalent because people are trying to have sex without having sex,” Haines told the Baltimore Sun. She added that she was afraid “dirty old men” would show up, while friends accused her of wanting an “orgy” in her bookstore.