This week, despite months of #NeverTrump, the Republican establishment began to unite behind its presumptive presidential nominee, former Celebrity Apprentice host Donald J. Trump. Several GOP politicians endorsed Trump this past week, including Sen. Orrin Hatch and even Sen. John McCain, whom Trump—a noted draft-dodger—once called “not a war hero.” House Speaker Paul Ryan, the de facto leader of the party, even said he had a productive meeting with Trump on Thursday, calling it “a very positive step toward unification.”
This all, as expected, left political satirist Bill Maher shaking his head.
“Donald Trump on Thursday had a big meeting with Paul Ryan in Washington. They discussed ‘Republican principles’—it was a short meeting,” Maher quipped. “And then they put out a statement saying, ‘We have a few differences, but we share principles.’ OK, now we know: bragging about your penis size is a ‘difference,’ racism is a ‘principle.’ OK, I get it.”
Maher, who’s criticized Trump’s manhood is recent weeks—going so far as to call him “a fucking bitch”—went on to hit Trump as being unprincipled, citing the real estate magnate’s change of tune on abortion, and his decision to walk back his xenophobic Muslim ban proposal this week. “Nothing about this guy is consistent and it doesn’t stick,” said Maher. “He said for months that he would release his tax returns and yesterday he said, ‘None of your business!’ Which is actually a good move for him because they would probably reveal that he is actually an unemployed actor for Queens that makes $14,000 a year. And this is the coup de grace today: The Washington Post released tapes of Donald Trump in the early ‘90s where he is pretending to be his own press agent. Somebody named John Barron who obviously is Trump, who talks to reporters about how great Trump is, how rich Trump is, how great he’s doing with women. Sounds like Trump has his vice president!” “But really, I mean think about that: the Republican Party has embraced a man, Donald Trump, who had a made-up employee who sucked up to the boss who was him!” Following his monologue, Maher welcomed fellow liberal Michael Moore, the Oscar-winning documentary filmmaker, onto the program for a sit-down interview. Back in December, Moore recounted to The Daily Beast how he’d appeared on a talk show with Trump many years back, and the rich heir was afraid to go on with him because he thought he was outmatched. “How do we stop Donald Trump? Because nobody seems to have a strategy,” Maher asked Moore. “Bill, the question you asked, what are we going to do between now and November? You and I are going to take him down. You and I,” said Moore. “No seriously, this is the end of Donald Trump. He is not going to the White House. That is not happening. Hillary, if she ends up being the candidate, she can talk policy and all that, you and I will do the things that—” “You tell me where to show up, I will be there,” Maher replied.
“I will tell you,” Moore continued. “And I promise you that we’ll do something that… we’ll hope for a good prosecutor.”
It will, of course, take a hell of a lot more than this to sink Teflon Donald.