HE’S A KEEPER

Man Kills Girlfriend’s Hamster

For a guy who looks like a weasel he really doesn’t have much love for animals. Ryan Goodwin, 23, was given an eight-month-long sentence suspended for a year (which means he wouldn’t have to go to jail) for hurling his girlfriend’s hamster out a first-story window during a break-up in Plymouth, England. The girlfriend, Sarah Symons, was even talking to the police on her cell phone when the defenestration happened. Goodwin was also banned from keeping animals for seven years, and since the couple has reconciled, they’ll have to get rid of their dog, Tyson. The hope is that they don’t do it by throwing him out the window.