Kanye West made his return to the MTV Video Music Awards this week, but still felt the need to discuss last year’s debacle at the ceremony with Taylor Swift in XXL magazine. West penned his first article for the publication’s October issue, which hits newsstands next week, explaining why he interrupted the then 19-year-old country singer during her acceptance speech for Best Female Video in 2009. “I stress that the incident wasn't about Taylor personally. And it definitely wasn't about race. Where I messed up is, at the end of the day, it's your show, Taylor. It's your show, MTV," West says in the magazine, which PopEater exclusively excerpted. "The relationship with the public and with your fans is like the relationship with your girlfriend. How could I not, at a certain point, be like, 'I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been at the awards show. I'm sorry.' Not that I don't deserve to get beat up or change who I am inside, to make sure that that doesn't happen again." Though he says he “felt very alone” after the episode, West harnessed his emotions into his music. The rapper’s upcoming video for “Runaway,” which he performed for the first time at the VMAs on Sunday, is a whopping “40-minute noir piece,” New York magazine reported.