Punchy

John Cleese Begs for Cash

"I'm here, my friends, because frankly I need the money." That's what Monty Python star John Cleese told those gathered in Oslo to see his act, as the comedian began his appropriately named How to Finance Your Divorce Tour. Cleese has hit the road to raise nearly $20 million for his ex-wife Alyce Eichelberger, thanks to a ruling from a California court. Cleese isn't pulling any punches: "To comfort me," he said Friday, "my lawyer told me to imagine how much I would have had to pay if Alyce had contributed anything to the relationship—such as children, or a conversation."