“You know, it’s been going on in Washington and bleeding over to the rest of us—the arguing, the fights online, the polarization, the erosion of any semblance of decency and human kindness,” Jimmy Kimmel said during his monologue Monday night. “And sometimes you wonder if you’ll ever be able to laugh about any of this stuff, and then you see something that fills you with hope.”
With that, the late-night host cut to the footage of President Donald Trump ascending the stairs to Air Force One with toilet paper on his shoe.
“There’s debate about whether that was toilet paper or a napkin or maybe a page of the constitution,” Kimmel joked. “I’m going with toilet paper. If that isn’t the perfect metaphor for how things are going in this country right now, I don’t know what is.”
From there, Kimmel moved on to the swearing-in of Justice Brett Kavanaugh after he was confirmed to the Supreme Court by the smallest margin since 1881.
Over the weekend, Trump actually thanked the FBI for delivering a “really detailed, thorough, professional report” on the sexual-assault allegations against Kavanaugh. “Is this the same FBI that’s doing the witch hunt right now?” Kimmel asked. “I thought they were—oh, never mind, nothing means anything anymore.”
During the White House ceremony, Trump also apologized to Kavanaugh, saying, “What happened to the Kavanaugh family violates every notion of fairness, decency and due process.” The president added. “I must state that you, sir, under historic scrutiny, were proven innocent.”
“First of all, no he wasn’t. He wasn’t proven innocent,” Kimmel said. “Secondly, Donald Trump, isn’t he the guy who had everyone chanting, ‘Lock her up! Lock her up!?’ Oh, boy, the Washington Monument is like a big middle finger right now pointing at us.”
Then, transitioning to a bit about Melania Trump’s first solo trip overseas, Kimmel noted that when she was out of the country the “acting first lady” was Sean Hannity.