If there are two things that I love they are our culture’s suffocating obsession with Halloween and Internet news outlets gleefully exploiting that obsession by publishing the exact same post on every single website. Can’t get enough!
Well, call me Jack Skellington because Halloween and Christmas are one in the same for me this year, because you can’t blink without seeing yet another Guide to This Year’s Most Popular Pop Culture Costumes, or another goddamn talk show host dressing as another goddamn character from Empire or a Kardashian.
But go home, all you other websites. So cute of you to have pretended to give any sort of advice on how to curate the perfect pop culture costumes. Your DIY suggestions for Cookie Lyon? Ha! Your “How to Make Your Own Game of Thrones Outfit?” Nice try!
We have searched high and low and found the ultimate pop culture-inspired Halloween wardrobes. Honestly, guys, we defy you to find the difference between the outfits we found and the real thing. We’ve modeled our looks for you below. You won’t be able to tell the difference!
Yes, it’s me as everyone. I am sooo tired, but did it all for you!
Empire’s Cookie and Lucious Lyon
The Cookie dress we located is so good it’s as if it was worn by Taraji P. Henson herself. That slick Lucious look? It’s as if it was curated by Empire’s own wardrobe department. And, honestly, you’re going to have to look this realistic if you plan on storming into any Halloween party this weekend with Cookie’s signature swagger.
If there’s one thing you can expect this Halloween it’s that loads of people will be dressing themselves as characters from Jurassic World, the biggest movie of the year. In this photo I am modeling impeccable makeup to transform into several of the film’s famous dinosaurs. The makeup work is so good that when I dressed as Chris Pratt’s heroic Owen I even scared myself!
Hello from the other side. It’s me, in a windy wood, bellowing about heartbreak. You may think that all you need is a good blowout and a thrift store fur coat to achieve the Adele look this Halloween, but as we’ve proven you can’t really call yourself a proper Adele unless you’ve managed to sepia-tone yourself, too.
The Emotions from Inside Out
Sure, sure—you and your friends will be adorable posing for those photos as Anger, Disgust, Joy, Fear, and Sadness from Inside Out. But will anyone really believe you’re one of those characters if you couldn’t even manage turn yourself into an actual cartoon?
Drake in the “Hotline Bling” Video
So clever of you to don a turtleneck sweater and dorkily dance your way through Halloween. But that alone won’t make you a meme. Let’s be honest, those Drake moves are nearly inimitable. Nearly. As you can see, we nailed them. It’s as if we were actually Drake.
Channing Tatum in Magic Mike XXL.
Actually this isn’t a costume. It’s just how I look.
Taylor Swift’s Squad
Everyone at the party is going to have “Bad Blood” when they see me and my me-squad roll in! It took several stylists to nail these looks, and the heels are murder. But if you’re going to welcome to the stage yourself as your best friends Gigi Hadid and Hailee Steinfeld, you gotta know that beauty—and perfect pop culture Halloween costumes—is pain.
Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones
That dragon we found was a pain in the ass, but what Daenarys Targaryen costume would be complete without one?
So many freaking people are going to be going as Nicki Minaj for Halloween this year. Only I will be going with the power to turn every room into the set of her “Anaconda” video. Like I said, all other pop culture costume guides wish they were this sophisticated!
Don’t you dare go outside as the classiest woman in Hollywood, Amal Alamuddin, this Halloween if you don’t have real-life George Clooney to accompany you and whisper sweet nothings in your ear all night. Off the record: Georgie is so fresh! Also we’re in love. Sorry Amal :(
And there you have it. The definitive guide to the perfect pop culture inspired Halloween costumes. No other can compare! Easy-peasy! You’re going to look so great!
God, Halloween sucks.