NOT GUILTY

DSK Acquitted of Aggravated Pimping

Former International Monetary Fund head Dominique Strauss-Kahn has been acquitted of “aggravated pimping” in relation to sex parties with what prostitutes described as “beast-like scenes.” Strauss-Kahn was just one of many defendants in the case, alongside a police chief and other high-profile individuals. He told the court that the “recreational sessions” helped him de-stress from “saving the world.” The prostitutes testified that they had never directly told Strauss-Kahn that they were sex workers, and the prosecutor asked for Strauss-Kahn’s acquittal.