Jussie Smollett’s performance with Robin Roberts on Good Morning America may have proven that he’s a pretty good actor, but Trevor Noah is convinced that he is a terrible criminal.
On Thursday, Chicago Police said they believe Smollett staged his own attack as a publicity stunt with the aim of getting a raise on his Fox show Empire. “Are you kidding me?!” The Daily Show host asked. “This dude may have faked a hate crime just to get a raise? What’s the logic there?”
“That’s not a good way to get a raise, people,” he added. “I mean, call me old-fashioned, but whatever happened to just going into your boss’ office and blackmailing him with nudes?”
“This is such a petty reason to pull off such a major crime,” Noah said, comparing it to Tupac Shakur faking his own death to get out of a Blockbuster late fee. “That would be insane!”
After letting a barrage of news anchors report the various incriminating evidence against Smollett and the two Nigerian brothers who allegedly helped him plan the attack, Noah zeroed in on the fact that he apparently paid his accomplices with a check. “What, did he also write ‘fake hate crime’ in the memo?” he asked. “Even amateurs know, if you commit a crime you go all cash, people! No paper trail.”
“So if he did do this, Smollett did a horrible job with this fake crime,” Noah said. Cops also indicated on Thursday that the actor wanted a surveillance camera to capture the attack, but it was rotated the wrong way and missed the whole thing. With his head in his hands, the host said, “You’ve got to be shitting me… You’re an actor, that’s your only job!”
Noah ended the segment by explaining how Smollett has managed to “screw over” the gay community, Trump supporters and even 2020 Democratic candidates who have had to walk back their denunciations of this “modern-day lynching.”
“But there is a silver lining,” he said. “When this started out, it was a story about people who hated Jussie Smollett because he was black and gay. But now, people hate him because he’s an asshole. In other words, they’re judging him on the content of his character and not the color of his skin. And that, my friends, is progress.”