Returning from a month off the air, the HBO host didn’t mince words, describing Thursday night’s Fox News-presented merry-go-round of bellowing, entitled men as pretty much the worst trip imaginable.
“Have you ever taken ecstasy? It was the opposite of that,” joked Maher. “For a minute there, I thought I was watching a Comedy Central Roast of the U.S. Constitution.”
Maher also suggested that, since the debate was on Fox News, and the network’s authoritarian ruler Roger Ailes “doesn’t like Trump,” that he issued an edict for the hosts to lay into The Donald—more so than the rest of the dais.“The word came down, ‘Get Trump! Kill this fucking Rosemary’s Baby monster in its black crib! I swear, that’s exactly what he said,” declared Maher. “So, they let Trump speak three times more than anybody else—and he did. He revealed himself to be nasty, boorish, sexist, ignorant, smug. What they forgot is that’s what the Republicans love about him!”
“To understand today’s Republican Party, you have to understand that despite the fact that they had on the stage five governors, three senators, and a brain surgeon, first and foremost they wanted to get the opinion of Donald Trump—a ham-colored cartoon character from I Love the ‘80s. Once you accept that, the rest of the night makes perfect sense,” continued Maher.
The oh-so-typical right-wing talking points brought up during the debate—immigration, ISIS, Planned Parenthood—also irked Maher, who branded the entirely male group of GOP candidates sexist.
“That’s all they have to sell: fear,” said Maher. “The entire slate of them up there seemed entirely unaware of the fact that women can now vote. Megyn Kelly asked Trump right off the bat about Trump calling women ‘fat pigs,’ ‘slobs,’ and ‘dogs.’ Trump’s answer? ‘I don’t have time for political correctness.’ He’s like one of those construction workers from the ‘70s who goes, ‘Nice tits. Oh, what? I can’t compliment a lady anymore?’ It’s crazy.”
He added, “They all want to get rid of Planned Parenthood. They talk about vaginas like they’re the Northern Lights: ‘I’ve never seen it, but my friend has. I hear it’s breathtaking.’”
Following his monologue, the Real Time host predicted that Marco Rubio and Carly Fiorina would be the Republican Party’s 2016 presidential ticket, and fired another shot at Trump, who last year filed (and later withdrew) a $5 million lawsuit against Maher for a joke he made about his birth certificate.
“Donald Trump sued me last year,” said Maher. “He is the most thin-skinned person in the world.”