The First Lady of the United States, who, after over a dozen women came forward to accuse her husband of sexual harassment or assault, spent the first several months of his presidency several states away from him, and who allegedly never wanted the elaborately coiffed ex-reality TV host to be POTUS in the first place, recently chose to skip a planned trip to Davos after numerous reports emerged that President Trump had engaged in a nauseating, Forbes-spanking, hush money-paying affair with porn star Stormy Daniels just after she’d given birth to their son Barron.
Melania’s absence from the glamorous, star-studded summit in the wake of the Stormy stories seems, at least to us outside observers, like yet another example of her apparent disdain for the commander-in-chief.
On Friday evening, while discussing the government shutdown during his opening monologue, Real Time host Bill Maher addressed the president’s not-so-rosy marriage, which he called “more valuable to him as an idea than as a reality.”
“It was their anniversary this week—their 13th anniversary—and of course Trump said the wrong thing: ‘Thirteen years together. I would buy you all over again,’” cracked Maher. “No, he didn’t. Actually, it’s sadder than that: they didn’t say anything. They didn’t have dinner, no tweets back and forth about that, nothing. And Melania was supposed to go to Davos with him but at the last minute didn’t. They said ‘scheduling and logistical reasons.’ Yeah, that’s bureaucrat talk for, ‘Why don’t you take the porn star you were fucking?’”
Indeed, unlike in years past, Trump and his third wife, Melania, failed to share any anniversary messages to each other on social media and spent the occasion an ocean apart, leading the comedian to argue that the Slovenian ex-model should do herself a favor and join the Resistance.
“Oh, Melania,” uttered Maher. “Melania, baby, you gotta knit yourself a pussy hat, I’m tellin’ ya! This is how bad it’s gotten: instead of going to Davos with her husband, Melania went to the Holocaust Museum to cheer up. She signed the guest book: ‘I know the feeling.’ And she lit a candle to mourn the dark day two weeks ago when Trump’s doctor said he was in good health. Then it was off to lay a wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Trophy Wife.”
Before welcoming The Daily Beast’s very own columnist, Rick Wilson, on his HBO program, Maher echoed fellow late-night host Seth Meyers in ripping the Christian right for forgiving President Trump for his alleged Stormy Daniels affair—not his first affair, of course, given how he cheated on his first wife, Ivana, while she took their three young children to…church.
“But you know who’s not mad at Trump for screwing a porn star? The evangelicals!” exclaimed Maher, beside himself at the hypocrisy. “Did you see this? Their head dude said we give him ‘a mulligan.’ A mulligan! One little blemish on an otherwise spotless Christian life. I’m not sure a mulligan gets you from Trump’s life to a life of a decent human being. I think the word for that is: reincarnation.”