Rowdy London Mayor Boris Johnson slams Gordon Brown's stimulus package in today's Telegraph. One thing that may be more bloated than Brown's stimulus, however, is Johnson's language. Some choice metaphors: 1) "[Brown] is like some sherry-crazed old dowager who has lost the family silver at roulette, and who now decides to double up by betting the house as well." 2) "He is like a drunk who has woken to the most appalling hangover, and who reaches for the whisky bottle to help him dull the pain." 3) "He needs some signs of life before May 2010, and with the patient prone on the slab, he needs to perform an emergency operation, no matter how risky it may seem." 4) "The more Gordon Brown swanks and preens and claims he is the man to fix things, the more he recalls the firefighters in that American movie called Backdraft..." Johnson the writer reminds you of--well, we'll spare you the metaphor.