13 Most Awkward TV Weddings
On Thursday, after five seasons of beautifully clumsy courtship, Jim and Pam will finally tie the knot on The Office. In true sitcom style, it’s guaranteed to be filled with disastrous moments. Therefore, in anticipation, we look back at our favorite trainwreck TV weddings, from Ross’ name switcheroo on Friends to the Brady Bunch’s mess-making pup.
Friends: Ross' Freudian Slip
No matter how many “Ross + Rachel 4Ever” T-shirts you had stashed in your closet back in 1998, your heart couldn’t help but go out to bride Emily, who had to hear Ross say his ex-girlfriend’s name during their vows. While they continued the ceremony and got formally hitched, the marriage, unsurprisingly, never did recover. Gosh, some people are so sensitive…
The Brady Bunch: Going to the Dogs
Throwing six kids, a dog, and a cat into the mix is a recipe for disaster anytime, let alone during a wedding. So it was no surprise when the marriage of Mike and Carol Brady got off to a raucous start, guaranteeing a series filled with crazy mishaps on-screen and off.
General Hospital: A Very Grimm Fairytale Wedding
Luke and Laura’s 1981 wedding on General Hospital was a major cultural event, garnering 30 million viewers, unheard of for daytime programming. While the wedding itself was largely free of catastrophes—except, of course, for Helena Cassadine (played by Elizabeth Taylor) placing an ominous curse on the happy couple—it’s hard to overlook the unsettling way the couple got their start, when Luke sexually assaulted Laura.
Desperate Housewives: Very Desperate
Desperate Housewives kicked off its new season by answering the season-finale cliffhanger: Who did Mike marry—his ex-wife Susan, or his new flame Katherine? Well, if you’ve watched a TV show, like, ever, you already knew Susan would be the one marrying Mike. Again. But, even after Susan locked her in a closet to ensure she didn’t make a scene during the ceremony, Katherine managed to upstage the bride on her big day. And you wonder why so many brides cloak their bridesmaids in hideous dresses?
Tiny Tim and Miss Vicki: I Now Pronounce You Eew and Eew
Famed ukulele player—and oh, boy, is that an oxymoron—Tiny Tim got hitched on The Tonight Show in 1969. The creeptastic ceremony drew 40 million viewers, because hey, who wouldn’t want to watch some guy who looks like a reject from The Addams Family marry a woman half his age?
Sex and the City: Whose Wedding is This, Anyway?
It might have been Charlotte’s wedding, but Sex and the City’s Carrie predictably made it All. About. Her., picking her BFF’s nuptials as the perfect time to break up with boyfriend Aidan. She then went on to pose in one helluva awkward tear-stained wedding photo, though we happily admit it’s not the most alarming wedding photo we’ve ever seen.
Sex and the City: Big Scene on the Big Screen
And when Carrie’s own big day finally came in the big-screen adaptation of the series, it was Mr. Big himself who ruined it. The elusive toxic bachelor got a momentary case of cold feet. Carrie retaliated by whacking him with her bouquet. Really, he’s lucky he didn’t get a Manolo to the head.
Grey’s Anatomy: The Runaway Groom
After the actor who played him was revealed to be kind of a jerk, the character of Dr. Burke had to get written off the show tout de suite. Which meant his poor fiancée, Cristina Yang (Sandra Oh), got to be stood up at the altar. It was kind of a trainwreck, which is all anyone tunes into Grey’s Anatomy for anyway, so it worked out OK.
Scrubs: The Only Thing More Painful Than Getting Married Is Surgery
Proving that not all medical shows have to have total meltdown drama in their weddings, the marriage of Turk and Carla turned out to be refreshingly normal. But, true to the hectic life of a surgeon, Turk was up to his elbows in intestines right about when he was supposed to be walking down the aisle. Which is a problem, because intestines go with so few color schemes.
Ugly Betty: ‘Til Death Do We Part. Which Should Be in About Five Minutes, Actually…
Ugly Betty’s scheming Wilhelmina snookered magazine magnate Bradford Meade into marrying her, much to his son’s consternation. While son Daniel tried to reason with his pops, screwball secretary Amanda provided the, um, entertainment. That awkward wedding moment, however, was upstaged when Bradford collapsed of a heart attack and died right after saying “I do.” Well, that’s one way to escape the ol’ ball-and-chain…
Curb Your Enthusiasm: Who Let Larry David Write the Vows?
Larry David, the crown prince of awkward, renewed his vows with his fictional on-screen wife during Curb’s fourth season. But the vows stumbled a bit when Larry was reluctant to pledge his devotion for eternity, preferring to limit his bond to lifetime-only and leave open the possibility of afterlife canoodling. Which is silly because, body or no body, no way does Larry David have a shot with, say, Marilyn Monroe.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Wedding Crashers, Demon Edition
There were plenty of demons at the sixth-season wedding of Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Anya and Xander. The bride was, after all, an ex-demon herself. But it was one gate-crashing demon who riled things up, leading to one of the more gruesome sights in the show’s history: Buffy being forced to slay while wearing a radioactive green bridesmaid dress.
Bionic Ever After? They Keep Going, and Going…
The Bionic Woman and the Six Million Dollar Man finally got hitched in a 1994 made-for-TV movie that, to be honest, had some solid 1980s production values. The super-powered supercouple could barely stop macking on each other long enough to say “I do.” That’s tacky in any decade.
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